| "Just the thought of you can drive me wild." None of you are probably going to read this. But I hope at least one person who might have been through this can. I need the help.. Alright, so a little over a year ago I met this incredible boy. I mean, like nothing compares to him. He has every quality Id ever want in a guy. He's so caring, he has an amazing sense of humor, he's sensitive but not too sensitive and he's tough but not too tough, he knows exactly what to say, he's the perfect hight, he has the most beautiful brown eyes that I can just fall into, he has the cutest smile, the way he giggles melts me, he's usually not a jerk about things, he's very understanding like it's so great how understanding he is i've never met someone like that. Everything about him is just AMAZING and immediately we fell head over heels. He waited until two weeks into our relationship to kiss me, which was the greatest because it made that kiss special, like so special. I can replay it in my head perfectly. Like ah, it started off so amazing. And as the months progressed it got even better. He got me a promise ring for christmas, and it meant so much to me. And then valentines day came around and he bought me a beautiful necklace, noones put that much thought into me before. It just meant so much. And in july, nine months into our relationship we lost our virginity to eachother. we were both deciding to wait till we got married, but as the relationship grew on, so did the tension and we decided "whatever happens happens, Ill always be here and Ill always love you." Ill never regret any of the sex that weve had. Why regret something you enjoyed right? But in maybe about the middle of november things started going a bit downhill for him, like I started complaining alot and I started getting bitchy. But around that same time things in my house were getting worse. All my family does is yell and complain and scream and fight. And my mom is never there for me, Ive never been able to talk to her about anything and she's never even offered to talk to me about anything. I basically grew up on my own. Now, Im only 15, but you can probably tell my mind is much older than 15 and i feel a lot older than that. But still, I grew up, got into a serious relationship, started messing around, had sex all without even having one talk with her. And it's hard. And all that anger I get from living at my house builds up and up and I never let it out, and when it comes out its aimed at the wrong people and people get hurt when they dont deserve to get hurt at all. And the complaining and bitchyness that Brandon was telling me about was only because of my house. I mean I guess i am ignorant, but in all actuality I am a nice person, the people I live with, ya' know my 'family', theyre ignorant. I get it from them cause Im always around them. I dont mean to be the way I am, i just ccant help it because of my family. Im mean beacause of them! And well, lastnight brandon told me he didnt want to be in this relationship anymore. He doesnt like to be in relationships. And I guess our relationship got boring, and well, it did. all we did was hangout and my house or his. I wanted to go on dates and stuff, but it never happened. I wanted to like, do more, be crazier, make our relationship more exciting so he wouldnt get bored with it. But it never happened because we never made any other plans. And then I started getting clingy. Like, I like to hangout with him like twice a week, thats a good amount. Like once during the week and on fridays. But we hadn't hungout for like a week and I wanted to make exciting plans and do exciting things. Im gonna get clilngy if I dont get to see my boyfriendd outside of school for a week, i dont know why, thats just how i get and i know that happens and I know how to stop it. I just need someone to tell me when I get like that so I can control it. But he never said anything about it untill lastnight, when he brokeup with me, so I never had a chance to stop it. I went over to his house and for like, three hours I cried. Basically because i lost the only person who ever ment anything to me. Noone has ment that much to me, ever. I mean, yeah its going to be the hardest thing ever to let them go, and it is, and im alright. I just want one last chance. I've had two and he said he doesnt give a third chance. But I think someone who youve asked to marry deserves one more chance. Thats all I need. I told him to take his time and I told him to get his alone time, and do whatever and I asked him not to just go chasing after girls. He said he might comeback. But honestly, If you read all this cant you even tell how much I really love this boy? Im not like 0MGGG I LUVV YEW SOO MUCH BBY!!!~!!!1! Like, I honestly, truely love him so so so so so much, and if im asking for ONE more chance, I should get it, like im not just going to not try. Im going to give all I have to try and all I have to fix us, and to make it exciting, and to bring back the love he has for me. You cant lose a love like this. Noone can. And expically not that fast. It's in there somewhere, it's lost, but its in there and if i had ONE MORE chance i could bring it out, and i could show him our flame again. I could bring the spark out. Itd be so muchc better now that ill notice when i get clingy and now that i know what he really wants. Ill be able to notice when he needs his time, and he'll be able to trust me to hangout with angelina and we'll be able to get our own time and have time alone together. Isnt that what a relationship is? I think so. And I can do that. I trust him with my life. Even through all that heartbreak, i still love him, obviously a lot and i still trust him with everything. this is a perfect chance for him to get his alone time while i improve my life so he can come back and we can fix things one more time. Who knows, maybe we'll fix it and be with eachother forever. Maybe it wont work at all and we really will have to let eachother go. But who knows untill you try it right? Exactly, youve got to give it one last shot. isnt it three strikes your out? I've got one more. Has anyone even been in a place like this? I really need some advice. Like, I know him and I think he'll come back when he's ready and after we have some seperate time. Like we've been with eachother everyday for a year. I think we just need a little break and he'll come back. He loved me more than anything. i think he'll be back. Im also just thinking positivly about it too, so maybe not. but hes been saying he might and i really think he might. I dont know. Any advice anyone? EDIT: Alright, so I cant compleatly stay away from him. I see him everyday and all his friends are my friends now. Ill give him his time, and i wont talk to him in school really. all Ill do is text him. i wont ask him to give me another chance anymore i told him
"I dont wanna bug you about it, i want you to take your time alone, and if you feel like yoou want to come back of course ill let you and if you feel like you wanna be alone then ill just have to try to get over you. Everything will work out for the best I suppose, and if you really care about me and you wanna come back then we really are supposed to be together, and if not then were not supposed to be together, like ill still wanna be able to talk to you if things dont workout just there wont be any relationship" I hope some of the things I've said are going to sink into him. He's honestly the only guy i've loved like this. he's the only guy i've loved at all. I need him right now, i honestly do. And I have a feeling he'll get his time and come back. But I dont know. What if that doesnt happen? I really need help /:
I wanna leave him alone, but i want to talk to him. I'll let things die down and ill say something about another chance. idk. Ill keep up to date /:
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Ily so so so so so much. :( |
